Megamind

Perhaps it is because I am essentially a big kid but at the moment I am really enjoying animated movies. I particularly adore Pixar's efforts but really, any cartoon movie can grab me. I'll usually make my selection based on reviews in the papers or trailers but every so often, as with other genres, I'll go to the cinema or pick up a DVD with no expectations.

This was just such the event that saw me wandering into the flicks to see Megamind. I had just emerged, with numb buttocks from Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 and had a need to use the last remaining free ticket I had. I was drawn in by the fact that the showing I was heading into was in that new-fangled 3D. So with baited breath and feeling a little bit silly I donned my glasses and took my seat.

This is, in essence, a movie about redemption with the the titular character starting off as a baby sent from his home planet a'la Superman. Unfortunately for our big and blue headed protagonist, another baby is launched form the doomed planet and this baby winds up landing in a nice rich family's home on Earth whilst Megamind? He winds up landing in prison where the convicts bring him up. This has the effect of making him into an evil genius intent on taking over Metrocity whilst that lucky kid? He ends up as his nemesis who thwarts him at every turn. However, once Megamind vanquishes his foe, he is left with a sense of emptiness, of needing a foil to play off. He also falls in love with an intrepid reporter and then tries to recreate another opponent but that goes awry when his creation turns out to be evil instead of good. He also has an epiphany when he realises he wants to be good instead of evil in order to make the reporter fall in love with him. He initially uses a disguise to do this but after a while, he sheds his disguise to show his true self. So in this movie, as well as a nice story for the kids to enjoy we have a pretty good theme of redemption and really sweet love story. The animation and effects are all pretty good and there are some genuinely nice touches like a good riff on the Obama election poster. This is an undemanding film but at the same time it is a lot of fun and you wont leave it feeling short changed. I thoroughly enjoyed it and when it come out on DVD I'll be hunting it down. I recommend you do the same.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

There is a huge vogue for 're-imagining' certain horror franchises and using the opportunity to delve into the background of the killer or villain. I am a big slasher movie fan and I ate up the re-makes of Halloween and Friday The 13th but my favorite always was Freddy Krueger which is kind of odd when you consider he was meant to be a child molesting serial killer!

This movie was released around 15 years or so after the last in the Nightmare On Elm Street series, a franchise which had gotten increasingly daft as time went on. Towards the end you increasingly sided with the razor gloved killer rather than his hapless victims. So it was with baited breath that I waited to see how the helmers of this new chapter in the Krueger legacy would crack on. Would they continue the campness and one liners or would they return to the spirit of the first 2 or 3 films and go for scares?

Firstly I was disappointed that they couldn't find any role for Robert Englund as to me, he utterly synonymous with the 'Nightmare' films in particular and horror in general. Although, upon reflection, the filmmakers would have wanted to go for a clean break and that would mean severing ties with Englunds legacy although I still maintain it would have been nice for him to have had some form of role within this movie. Instead they went with Jackie Earle Haley to play the role of Freddy and a host of unknown but attractive teens to play his victims.

The design of Freddy is also quite different than that of any previous incarnation with the emphasis very much on what a realistic burns victim would look like, given that part of his background, as explained in the film, is vengeful parents burned him alive after they suspected him of molesting their kids. Thankfully the fedora and tatty sweater are still present and almost act like some form of comfort blanket to us fans of the original movies.

There some genuinely nice touches here like distorted camera angles and off-key music when the teens dream and there is a good sense of rising panic as they realise they cannot stop themselves from falling asleep nor dreaming. This, added in with the jumps which abound here, and the grim, nightmarish settings adds up to an increasingly unsettling and scary experience and for that the film-makers should be applauded. This is scary and something that the makers of torture porn crap like Saw or Hostel can't appreciate, that you don't necessarily need gore and torture all the time, that you can achieve your goal of scaring your audience by things like clever editing, music and atmosphere. This movie is a worthy addition to my favorite fictional serial killers canon.

Predators

Some movie franchises crank out the sequels like nobodies business, like the Saw films. Some knock out a sequel and ruin the first film by producing something of stunning ineptitude like the Matrix films and some improve on the formula, like Alien. Yet others leave massive gaps in between the movies and Predators falls into that category.

There was a Predator 2, which was an alright film but lacked that certain something. That film was released way back in 1990, and a whole 20 years later there was a third in the series, a hat-trick. Thankfully, this movie ignores the second one which had a slightly silly premise of the Predator being in Los Angeles and instead goes back the setting and feel of the original by dropping, quite literally, a group of ne'er do wells in the jungle.

Instead of special forces soldiers lead by Arnie, this time round we have a group of mercenaries and rogues. In the third iteration they are not being hunted by a solitary Predator, instead they're being chased down by several of the alien hunters. We don't find that out for at least half an hour though and the opening thirty minutes are spent watching our hero's first of all wondering why they are where they are and then trying to figure exactly where that is. There is a good moment where the gang crest a hill and find out they are on an alien planet. I am also enamoured of the way most of the group are sufficiently different enough for each of them have a good personality, even if you can see the one evil one a mile off.

There are moments of pulse pumping action and some moments of levity. I found myself genuinely caring for the gang and I was genuinely sorry when my favorite, a Latino gang member played by Danny Trejo, was killed. The chap taking the the Arnie role here is Adrien Brody who does a very curious accent which is not quite American and not quite English. Laurence Fishburne does a turn as a crazed man who has been on the planet for 10 years and has gone cuckoo. The rest of the cast run the gamut from inscrutable Oriental type to mystical African warlord to monosyllabic Russian. There are nods to the original like the Russians Gatling gun and some previous victims being skinned alive.

The whole feel of this movie is much closer to the original and that's only a good thing. After all, why change a winning formula? I had gone to see this in the cinema had had my experience then ruined by some twats chatting away during the movie. However i had enjoyed it so much that when it was released on DVD I went out and bought it and I think that tells you all you need to know.

Shark In Venice

Way back when DVDs first arrived on the scene they were prohibitively expensive, but as time rocked on they dropped and dropped in price to the point where some movies can be had for as little as £2 brand new. Most of theses titles, if not heavily discounted by chain-stores will end up being the sort of bargain basement, filler type fare. Think of the old B-movies of the 50's and you'll be about there.

I rented this gem from Gillingham library based purely on the title and subject matter. It actually made me laugh out loud when I read it. After all, how pissed must the makers have been when they put this one forward. We open with a dive team hunting for treasure hunting below the floating city of Venice. They get munched on by a shark and then, all of a sudden, we switch to a University lecturer being told his father has gone missing. He heads off to Venice to find out what happened and along the way he and his betrothed fall afoul of some mafia types and the titular sharks.

If that alone doesn't make you fall in love with this movie then you have no soul. There are moments in this film where one almost has to shout at the telly in disbelief, like the moment when a large shark (incidentally they Sharks are Great Whites) leaps out of the water and bites a gondola clean in half. Or there the but where the villain launches into exposition mode and tells our hero's that he introduced the sharks to the canals. No explanation of where they came from or how he feeds them or why they don't just swim away.

There are also scenes that just seem to be repeated for no apparent reason and Stephen Baldwin? Let's just say that his running style when being chased makes him look like he rides to work on the Sunshine Bus! The lines delivered here are done almost wince-inducingly badly and there plot holes and logic leaps of such monumental stupidity you wonder how it is that this film ever managed to get released. You would think that adding all of this up would mean that this is a movie to be avoided but you would be wrong, so very very wrong. In fact, this is a movie wort hunting down purely because of how bad it is. It's not quite at the level of shark based lunacy of say, Shark Attack 3 but it does come a fairly close second.

Godzilla

Unsurprisingly, seeing as it came from the same people who gave us the cinematic excrement that was Independence Day, this movie is yet again reliant upon special effects to grab your attention but it's not all bad.


Godzilla is by no means as overblown as Independence Day and the jingoism is dialled down a notch but it is the cinematic equivalent of chewing gum. Utterly forgetful trash. It may be fun initially but after a while it become more than a little tedious.

The special effects here are necessarily good, given the titular monster and they are impressive, even now, nearly 12 years later. The story is also more involving then the makers previous effort and the characters are much more fleshed out. Having said that, this film does feel flimsy but at the same time you are so relentlessly battered over the head by spectacular set pieces you kind of end up going along with the ride.



Much like other films like Transformers this is a movie that caters for a very specific audience, the teenage boy market. This isn't a bad movie, nor is it a great one. It's a mildly diverting couple of hours but that's all it is. The effects are good, the storyline alright and the acting perfectly passable but it wont amount to more than that. Much like bubblegum, it has initial attraction but pretty soon after it's all over, you've forgotten it


All in all, it's just not as bad as Independence Day and we should all be thankful for that!

My Bloody Valentine

There are horrors like Wishmaster and Scream that use humour in a very much tongue in cheek style to add to the scares in the film. There are also out and out spoofs that take a Naked Gun style to things. Somehow though, the people involved here managed to make a complete hash up and made some parts of this supposed slasher horror funny, albeit unintentionally.

This is the tale of a vengeful miner on the rampage. That really does about sum up the plot of this film. There's some apparent motivation for this to do with being buried alive in a mining collapse but the background of the killer is not fully explored, we are supposed to buy into his evilness without question. Ten years later, after butchering over 20 people with a pickaxe, the killer is back, on Valentines Day, or is he? Actually no he is not, but let's not spoil the twist in the tale.

This was originally made with the 3d market in mind and it shows through, and at times that is very jarring. It's not as bad as that earlier, more famed, 3D epic called Jaws 3 but you really do wonder if they could have concentrated more on the storyline and plotting, characterisation, writing and editing rather than trying to make flashy 3D effects that barely work as it is. Perhaps I would have gotten more out of this piece of crap had I watched it in 3D but for me that should be irrelevant. A good film should work no matter what and here the emphasis is so much on severed heads flying out of the screen and suchlike that you pretty soon find it all a bit of a muchness.

This movie is very Horror-By-The-Numbers and the gore aspect? Apart from some admittedly grim deaths by spade there is very little here to keep your interest and this supposed horror movie isn't even remotely scary and to me that's a crime. In fact, some of the effects, dialogue and plot leaps are enough to make you laugh out loud.

There are much better films out if you want your slasher movie fix so don't bother with this.

Navy SEALS

A few months back I was at a boot fair nearby to me and I picked up a video recorder for the princely sum of a quid. Since then I have gone an orgy of buying up tapes, of snapping up films that remind me of my childhood, of classics I've yet to see and of anything that looks vaguely interesting.

This film falls very much into the this category, as it stars one of my favorite actors, Charlie Sheen. I say favorite actors, but it's not his acting ability I like but it's the fact that he is a proper nutter, a real hell raiser with some awesome tales to tell.


In this film he is cast as one of a team of Navy SEALS, a sort of special forces branch of the American military. The plot, and I do use that term loosely, is to do with some missiles left behind when the SEALS rescue some hostages. The pesky Arabs have gotten hold of them and our hero's must go in and get them back. If that plot sounds too simple then it really is.



The rest of the actors in this are OK, and do their job competently but they are hampered by some godawful lines that are so cheesy to make you almost wince. The action sequences are alright but are hampered by too much of it happening in the dark. Also, there are sequences in this movie that seem really out of place, with switches from an earlier mission which went poorly, straight into the SEALS arsing around on a golf course and Sheen's character stealing his own car back. Everyone in this film suffers from that all too familiar sense of one dimensional characterisation that afflicts a lot of action films. There are many leaps of logic here and some utterly gaping plot holes. Some scenes bear almost no relation to the rest of the film and seem to have been tacked on.





So does that mean you should avid this film? Does it mean that this is one that is destined to remain on the shelf? No it does not. Whilst this movie will never be considered a classic, it is a lot of a fun and works well as a big, dumb, action film. It's one of those that is 'so bad it's good'. If you happen across it, then go and pick it up as you wont regret it.

Independence Day

Bombastic movies can be fun, can be perfect popcorn munching fodder. In the vein of Jurassic Park, this movies is very much a full on summer event movie, one that was hyped to the nether regions by talk of the special effects. I went to see this at my favorite cinema ever, the ABC at the Elephant and Castle. A proper fleapit cinema that was and one that is sadly no more.

I wish I could say that Independence Day matched up to my rose tinted memories of the cinema but sadly it lacks in so many different areas. The special effects are spectacular and they do make your jaw drop, at least upon the first viewing, but since the films release they have been bettered many times over. Unlike Jurassic Park, the special effects here drive the film instead of the other way around and that lends itself to a heartless, soulless piece of trash. The dialogue is clunky and almost winch inducing at times.

Jingoism also rears it's ugly head here with the Americans portrayed as world saving hero's and the rest of humanity as feckless cowards, huddling in the dark, waiting to be rescued. When the foreigners are shown it's like they have been lifted straight form the Big Book Of Stereotypes with Arabs in tents (intense?) and fey British officers. The American actors within this stunning piece of craptitude don;t fare much better are almost all utterly detestable. In fact, you find yourself rooting for the aliens within half an hour of the films opening. Will Smith is like Marmite, you ever love him or loathe him. For my part I find him to be a touch too clean-cut and in this film, early on in his career, he plays a fighter pilot, one of the hero's that slays the alien menace.

Really, watching this film back now I am struck by the fact that I am miles too old for it. This is really a crash, bang and wallop picture, one that surely holds appeal to 15 year old's and moronic ones at that. Ridiculous moments abound like the President jumping into a fighter jet and taking the fight to the enemy.

Do yourself a favour and watch something else, anything else than this garbage.

Air Force One

Some movies require you to suspend belief for a little while, even though they are rooted in the real world. Air Force One is one such film.

In this action film, the president (played here by Harrison Ford) goes up against Russian terrorists when they hijack Air Force one, the Presidents jumbo jet. It helps if you think of this film as Die Hard on a plane. Once you have that in your head, you're about there. That's not to say that this film lacks originality, after all they've cast Harrison Ford as the President! Actually Ford is quite here as the President. His counterpart, the main villain, is played by Gary Oldman who always does a good turn no matter the role and here he chews the scenery with gay abandon as the evil Russian seeking to use the President as a hostage in order to free an imprisoned Russian separatist.

The effects in this film are OK but then again, given that most of the action happens aboard Air Force One you'll not need much crash, bang and wallop. There are explosions a'plenty so you needn't worry, you do get your fill of testosterone fuelled braggadocio. Aside from the aforementioned Oldman as mad Russian, the rest of the villains here are indistinguishable but maybe that's more to do with them living in the shadow of Gary Oldman hamming it like a good 'un! Glenn Close plays the Vice President and does well although some of the others in the Situation Room with her grate a little. Almost predictably, this movie has a jingoistic overtone but then again, given the subject matter, it would have been hard not to. At least the jingoism is dialled down a notch, unlike in Independence Day!

All in all, this is a good action film, a switch ones brain off and engage popcorn kind of thing. It wont change your life but it will do is entertain and thrill you which is all it really set out to do.

Nuns On The Run

A lot of movies lack for originality and draw their inspiration from, or blatantly rip off earlier, more successful efforts. This movie is one such celluloid piece of pilfery and whilst it does borrow really quite heavily from Some Like it hot it is a good movie in it's own right.

Brian and Charlie are two small time crooks working for a vicious Mr Big. They want to get out out the crime game but their guvnor wants them to carry out a dangerous robbery, ripping off Triads. They use this as a cover for stealing the money and doing a runner from their psycho boss. However, things go awry and they are forced to hide out in a convent and dress up as nuns. One of them falls for a someone staying at the small medical wing and the other gets very into being a nun. Eventually their boss, the Triads and the police all catch up with them and they go on the run again, this time making their escape to Rio, via an airport.

That really is about it as far as the plot goes, it certainly is a very undemanding film. The setting is very dated, but then again the film is nearly 20 years old. Filmed mostly on location in and around West London there are scenes that provide big belly laughs but mostly the comedy is more of the gentle smile variety than laughs variety. As a football fan I was also pleased to see a small scene filmed in the car park of Stamford Bridge but then again that's probably just me that's pleased by that.

This is a fun if not exactly sophisticated British film, one that I feel has been ignored by some, a kind of forgotten gem if you will. You could certainly do worse than spend 90 minutes watching this. It's really quite good fun.

Jurassic Park

This movie kicked off a trend that's still going on today, namely the summer blockbuster that boasts jaw dropping special effects. Each year tries to outdo the last and sometimes to the cost of the story and movie itself. So do we have a lot of blame to lay at the door of this movie? No we do not so let me elucidate. The story here is central and the effects, whilst also essential are there because of the story, not the other way around.

By now I think most people will have seen this one so I wont waste a whole heap of your time going over the plot, suffice it to say a venture capitalist has the bright idea of resurrecting dinosaurs using DNA extracted from their fossils in order to create a theme park. Once he gets things up and running he brings in some people to give the park the once over. Only thing is, something goes wrong, very badly wrong.

From a relatively slow start the film builds up a good head of pace and by the end it is a frenetic race for survival. The first proper reveal of a dinosaur is a proper jaw-dropping moment and you're left wondering just how they did it as the dinosaurs in question and throughout the film look utterly convincing. As i have already mentioned, the effects are driven by a damned good story and that's a trademark of the director, some chap called Steven Spielberg. In this movie he touches on themes of peril and adventure although there is a slightly underlying touch of ecologically aware preachyness, in that mankind really shouldn't interfere in nature.

The criticisms I have of this film and they are minor ones at that are that some of the writing can be a little bit clunky at times and some of the characterisation is a little shallow. Also there are occasions of blatant product placement that jars somewhat. On the plus side the child actors in this movie pull off the rare trick of being likeable and most of the other protagonists match up to their example. On your first viewing there thrills and jumps aplenty but they pale a little on repeat viewings. The special effects were groundbreaking for the time but they have been surpassed by now but at the same time the story more than makes up for that.

Jurassic Park more than stands up to minor criticisms and you will find yourself returning to it time and time again.

Naked Gun

There are some actors I can watch endlessly, a pantheon of greats if you'll allow. People like Robert Englund, Jack Lemmon, Alec Guiness and the star of this film, the wonderful Leslie Nielsen who sadly died a few days ago.

Nielsen is Frank Drebin, a good natured but bumbling and accident prone cop who investigates the near death of a friend of his. I say that but really the plot is almost secondary here to the onslaught of jokes. This film is very much the vein of spoofs, a vein opened up by the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker trio. The trick with their movies is that unlike Scary Movie, they'll play it absolutely straight, as if the main characters really are cops in a proper action film. This gives rise to some superb double takes from those involved as they check that they've just heard what they think they have. The master of this is Leslie Nielsen who can make your sides split with laughter just with a single glance to camera.

This movie stands up to repeat viewings, just for jokes you may have missed, jokes that happen in the background. It's also worth watching the credits, as unlike with other movies, these credits are a continuation of the comedy with jokes and puns inserted in amongst the actual job titles. That's not to say that the rest of the film isn't up to scratch. This movie rocks and is easily in my top 3 of comedy films. There are slapstick moments like a murderous doctor riding a missile launcher into a fireworks factory or Lieutenant Drebin accidentally killing a fish with pen. There are lines that make one roar out loud with laughter with the the incomparable "Nice beaver!" line being a favorite of mine.

Leslie Nielsen is a great loss to the world of movies, for he gave us so much. However there is no greater testament to his memory than the wonderful films he left us with. He may be gone but his work lives on.

Batman Begins

This is not a movie that continues the franchise started by Tim Burton's Batman movie of the early 90's. This is a reboot of the Caped Crusader and this movie takes an altogether more dark, almost gothic tone as opposed to Burton's comic book style.

Batman himself is played by Christian Bale who adds a very sombre, brooding tone, in keeping with the movie. He is a chiseled chap, not a nancy-boy and you can really buy into him as the flawed hero. There are moments in this movie where Bruce Wayne/Batman's vulnerability shines through and that's a great testament to Bale. Gotham, Batman's hometown also adds a lot to this movie instead of being just a backdrop. The massively tall buildings and dark alleyways make the humans living there seem almost insignificant and powerless, a metaphor for the struggle against the corruption of the police etc.

In keeping with the current vogue for rebooting movies franchises, we get much more of a backstory. We learn of how Bruce Wayne became the Caped Crusader and of how he fomented his hate of crime. This is done well enough to leave one somehow connected to both him and the other characters, from Alfred the butler to James Gordon the only good cop left in Gotham. This movies plot moves from Batman's early years to his formative training with the mysterious R'as Al Ghul and then onto his return to Gotham. There he faces down his own personal demons and the very real threat of the returning R'as Al Ghul who he left for dead back in Tibet.

The special effects, such as they are, pass you by here and to me that's a good thing. You don't want a movie to become one where the main draw is the effects, just like in Independence Day. In some parts, especially after Bruce Wayne's return to Gotham, the movie does sag in parts but then again this film is not one that you can watch with your brain switch off. Batman Begins is an intelligent action film, but it is also a movie that examines the human condition and deals with topics like loss and revenge. The characters within are pretty much all judged well and highlights for me are Gary Oldman as James Gordon, the weary cop and Liam Neeson as R'as Al Ghul. Neeson adds a very malevolent air of menace to his character which is departure for him as he always seems to play nice guys.

This is a fantastic movie and a brilliant addition to the Batman canon.